This conversation took place with my Locals community regarding a variety of key subjects on the Empty the Cave path. I will share the discussion here, with questions that were presented and my responses. The questions were given in a live online conversation, thus the questions will seem much shorter than would have been asked if this were occurring in a gathering or discussion of people in a physical location.

Q: I have more questions around the recapitulation.

A: There comes a point where you want everything to be focused on forward. And the recapitulation’s job is to go through your past to figure out where you need to clean your inner world, so that you don’t have to bring that forward. But some people like the bad things that happened to them in the past, because it keeps giving them a story to tell over and over. You know this person, as soon as there is someone around to talk to they start going on about how this happened at work, or on this vacation last year or whatnot. Everyone’s got an awful story to tell if they want to. What is more important is to ask “what am I dealing with right now? What am I working with right now? Am I getting my house in order now?” Spiritual communities can be valuable on many levels, but one of their problems is that the organization knows that suffering people have come them, and they make their core focus to make them feel better, so they will stick around and come to the next retreat, or the next whatever. But if Ultimate Truth is what you’re looking for, it won’t be found in the past. Granted the past is likely still impacting your current world. If you haven’t cleaned up your past it’s still impacting your world. I don’t want to make this sound like it’s some sort of being in the now bullshit. It’s understanding what’s happening now, and where you have to go next. Make sure you are getting your house in order, which ultimately is getting your mind in order. Super sharp clarity. There’s a lot going on your mind that you probably don’t want to admit. Myself in the last couple of weeks I found something running in my head that I didn’t like. And it’s taken me like two to three weeks to just really track it. Really watch it and catch the way that’s been built built. A type of entity, these these recurring thoughts,. They just don’t show up by accident. As you’re unravelling the way your mind is structured, you’re unravelling the various parasitic energetic influences that have been built into the mind. Cleaning that up is a part to get your house in order. To do that you have to become aware of the pattern. Not label it, just see it. You’ve got to track its history. You’ve got to do a little like it got to do a bit of a life recapitulation. You can actually recapitulate your own mental structures. How long do I have to go back before the mental structure I’m unravelling didn’t exist? You are finding its origin, for sometimes when the structure was first formulated, tells you a lot of where it came from and what energy it is trying to get.

Q: Emptiness does not seem to be a fun experience.

A: Emptiness requires a lot to drop before it will reveal itself, and if you won’t drop those things yourself, Emptiness will have to drop them for you, for the experience to occur. One of that which must drop is the ego’s hold on its speicalness and importance, this has to be seen through in some form, otherwise the wall to Emptiness is too strong. And this seeing through of the ego’s, let’s call it, very low importance, causes it to become confused about what to do next. Let’s say there might be three or four required realizations to reaching your totality, and the Realization of Emptiness is one of them. This is usually the one that’s one of the least fun. And the point being, the Realization is empty. That means all other “full” things: beliefs, wishes, hopes, fears and experiences are not Emptiness. They are somethingness. That is why there is great value in having a gradual work to be done, to lessen this grasping to the material world, which includes thoughts beliefs and ideas. Because the more, lets say space is there within, Emptiness has more to fill, so has to push less out of the way. So the Realization becomes, lets call it, a more manageable experience. But if Emptiness happens like it’s has for some, just randomly from say a car accident or literally just walking down the street, bang Emptiness hits them. If all of those beliefs about self are totally in place, as they are for the average person…I hate to use the word attachment because that makes up the wrong idea, but the stronger all the connecting points between the fictional self and reality is, the more shattering the experience will be for the ego should it occur. To go from total belief in the reality in the self to all of a sudden having no clear belief in reality in the self is a shocking moment. The more that’s been examined and questioned along the way in regards to self and reality, the more that has been let go of prior to that experience, means the ego is just kind of lightly grasping. So should Emptiness appear, it’s still a shocking experience, but manageable. You can’t read about it beforehand and think you know what the Realization of Emptiness is going to be like. They only give you pointers and ideas to contemplate on, ways of asking your own self about its hold and structure. So the point being the point being to that is just simply you work on letting go of everything that you feel you need to. Not so much the clothes in your closet, but the thing in the mind that was grasping to the clothes. You start to see more what is and is not needed in the material reality. The ego might respond with with depression because as you start dropping your fictional self, and since the ego is built on getting getting things or protecting things or propping itself up or making itself important, and if all of a sudden you start saying certain things are no longer important, all of a sudden the ego doesn’t doesn’t have its standard direction anymore. It becomes very confused. That is part of the process as well, but we are not used to that, we have had 30 or 40 or 50 years of knowing exactly who we are, what we should be thinking and be doing. Once we start to really question that, it can get odd for a while. The egoic mind is there to put you into a continuous record groove that’s just running around around around but never gets you anywhere. That’s why the process of not doing is so important because not doing is challenging the mind’s beliefs continuously, what it’s telling you you need to do and you don’t need to do. Sorry it’s kind of a long drawn out answer to your question. Even so Emptiness is not the final answer, it is like the doormat that you’re going to wipe your feet on you might say before you go through, because even even nothingness is even nothingness is still related to a dual something that can be experienced. But all that is much further down the path. You’re wasting your whole life trying to fill emptiness with something making you feel like nothing is something.

Q: Do you believe all repetitive thoughts are parasitic?

A Yes. Technically all thoughts are parasitic but certainly repetitive ones will steal the most energy from you.

Q Who decides our death?

A: Good question. Maybe nothing’s decided at all. I’ve already seen myself die in various parallel realities, so I’ve already experienced Howdie dying, just this particular version hasn’t died yet. So there might be various factors in each simulation that puts a certain time on with different choices. I don’t want to say people have a particular locked in moment that says you’re going to die on a particular day on a particular street, but i think there’s a there’s a relative energy factor that the combination of how much you were born with how you live how you how you expend your energy you might say moves death closer to you or pushes it farther away from you if that makes if that makes some kind of sense. There may be a starting point, but then the choices on makes moves the possibility up or down depending on the choices.

Q: Please explain how the projection works?

A: You have to remember that the physical form is not the real you. What you what you more are is this thing much deeper described as Awareness. And the Awareness is what’s getting the information first, the astral or the mental body gets the information first then finally your physical body. You might say there’s like a projection continually going from each of the bodies until finally this body-mind projects into the physical. It goes from finer to denser, this deep awareness keeps projecting various bodies deeper into the matrix. This the cup of tea that I’m having right now was projected way back in these other realms so they already perceived it before there was ever the need to project a cup of tea into the physical. But once that message reached from there to here, into this body-mind, then I went and boiled the water and put it in the cup and and whatnot.

I recently broke a coffee press. I knocked it off the counter and broke it. Oddly just seconds before it happened, I knew that was going to happen. I knew that were it was positioned on the counter, and how my arm was going to reach for the water boiler, put it in a problem position. Actually I was in the process of trying to avoid it while it knocked it off the table and broke it. Something deeper, which was connected to astral, knew this was likely to happen, and was picking up this info before even it was occurring in the material world. That’s why living in a material body is so unbelievably difficult because if you want to put it into metaphoric terms you’re five seconds behind everything. So those teachers out there that are telling you to “be in the now” is obvious bullshit because if you’re experiencing through material senses and a material form you are always in the past, microseconds, but you’re in the past. To truly be in the now you actually have to have the Awareness at the deepest point of your of your totality of yourself that means you are symbolically seconds ahead of what’s ever happening in this reality. Of course the better you get the further you go back there you’ll be hours ahead you’ll be days ahead You know when people dream about a bus accident the day before and they decide not to take the bus that day, well that could be something in the physical which is accessing “material reality” before it manifests. Now I do want to mention, that what I just presented makes it sound like you are creating all of reality, like on some level you are responsible not just for everything that happens to you, but perhaps everything that happens everywhere all the time. And that is just nonsense. A hologram needs two lasers to create it. This reality is also a type of holographic projection, granted far more detailed than what we are used to here. But two lasers, or focus of consciousness are needed. One comes from each of us, which in a sense creates individual realities for every being in the world. But the world itself is also projecting a reality, it is projecting foundations and experiences that have nothing to do with us at all. All we can do is witness or experience them, we are not “creating everything.” Actually lets be more clear, we are not creating anything, we are only projecting. Since a projection can never be real, we are never creating. This whole New Age idea of being “co-creators of reality” is a giant error. We are co-projectors and then perceivers of those projections, but nothing more.

Q: How would Suzanne Segal’s experience serve as an example for experiencing Emptiness?

A: This questions is around the woman who wrote Collision With Emptiness, about an experience she had at a Paris bus stop, and the years of challenges that came from it. I think in one sense she had a genuine experience of Emptiness, but the problem is that she had been dealing with a disassociation disorder from childhood trauma for a long time in her life. She had sort of kept it sort at bay, but somehow that that moment at the bus stop, Emptiness and the disassociation order hit together at the same time. So it’s like she had both of them exploding at the same time and the disassociation disorder is going to win out. It’s one of those things that if you haven’t transformed the traumas in your life. if Emptiness shows up it has to stop because the inner is already filled with something, the self’s continual reaction to the past trauma. So you transform the trauma, Emptiness is just going to sit and wait. I think was part of Suzanne’s challenge. Emptiness was now there, and once in a while she was interacting with it, but the disassociation order was closer and more prevalent. She was still blocked off from the memory of the trauma. For years this just led to continuous confusion. Once she eventually got to see the trauma of her childhood and see the abuse that she went through and transform that, things could change. I didn’t know her personally of course, so but I am just assuming this based on what I heard and read, that she did transform the disassociation disorder and the trauma, so just before she died, Emptiness could come into Awareness fully. I have an entire section on her and her story, and a very unique email from one of her friends about the last few years of her life that I think is a valuable read for anyone on the Empty the Cave path.

Q: Did Mr. Park find you?

A: Maybe. I don’t know. I never asked him directly.You know that I met him through a friend. I think I tell that story in falling for truth, but back when I met him in 1999 I was not looking for total knowledge or even a healer. I was still writing my Egypt book so I was looking for people that I thought could give me information the mind of Ancient Egypt. But somehow Mr. Park um kind of saw through all that somehow and knew where I could be heading in the future. And the way he described my future to me was in a way which he knew I wouldn’t like. One day he told me that one day I could be a holy man. At the time that was not what I wanted to hear. I didn’t want to be a holy man, which I placed in terms of some sort of person living their life in one room of a temple or cave in a robe and eating rice every day. Of course that’s not what he meant right he was he was using words in a very tricky way and using it in a way to antagonize my own internal ecosystem. In that he was giving me a massive compliment that as far as i know he didn’t say that to anybody else that was part of the group that was down. But he didn’t frame the compliment in a way that my ego would have been able to take it and wrap it into such a way that i would feel advanced and stop doing whatever i needed to do. He he gave me the compliment in a way that i wouldn’t treat it at the time as any kind of compliment.

Q: Is controlled folly also related to killing the umpire? A: This is a challenging question because it is bringing in an idea linked with Castaneda and one linked to Richard Rose. To Rose what he called the Umpire is a feature like our inner conscious. And there is a value in it for quite a while, for it serves a purpose (keep us safe and alive so we can have babies, then help them grow up so they can have babies, and keep the reincarnation system functioning). So it will help us, sort of. But there comes a time when you have step past all of that, but that is after quite a bit of work. That really can only happen when you are fully rooted in the totality of what you are. As long as you’ve got the possibility of being influenced by parasitic entities, as long as you still got the possibility of being tricked by temptations or whatever, then the umpire is helpful because it can remind us that the next action we are thinking of taking might not be in our best interest. But at a certain point of being rooted in that deeper Awareness long enough, where you have a more complete overview of things, then the Umpire’s wishes become less needed. Of course if you don’t have children, or plan to, it might be it’s easier to drop the umpire because the main focus of the umpire is making sure you have a bunch of sex so that you can have children, so they can grow up and they can have sex and have their own children. So if you go against that you are going against the very foundation level the Umpire is built on. But you also can not let of the basic suggestions of the Umpire until one has their house in order. That house in order is part of what the Umpire is wanting you to do, so until that point, you also sort of need those suggestions to move you along in that direction. And yes I have had sex in my life, I just never had the babies part of it. I’ve produced something creatively, which is my books, but I feel these books which are about exiting the matrix, are not feeding the system like a child would. I know there are a lot of people who live alone and complain about how they wish they were with somebody, or some might have all the kids left for university and now the “house feels empty,” and they don’t know what to do. Being alone might not be enjoyable from the how much fun can my ego have in the material standpoint, but it is very good for the knowing yourself standpoint. Being alone is a gift, so use it to your advantage if that is your situation. I mean it’s fine to live with people but it does energetically alter how you do things on a day-to-day basis .I mean even to say to somebody how did you sleep last night, or what would you like to do today, you are being pulled in the direction of the outside world and the wishes of another person. If you have an absolute space totally to yourself almost all the time you can be able to structure your day exactly as you want it to be. This does not mean to hide from the world and become a hermit. Just by living alone what you have is the ability to choose when to have an external interaction with people in reality. You have a guaranteed still place where the choices at any moment can be completely yours. Now, being with another person, whether it’s a room-mate, a child, a spouse, whatever offers possibilities and offers things on the path too. But there is a reason that the desert hermit is so talked about in spiritual literature so much, because once you are alone with only yourself when you literally have only yourself to ever interact with, then if you want to have an interaction is has to be with yourself. You have to start to really get to know this self, because you have no one else to interact with. It becomes less a tactic to hide away from others, but if used well, becomes a powerful tool in forcing you to finally turn away from all the people out there, and get to know the person that has been here all the time. You will start to actually figure out what makes you tick, because once you have a second person around you constantly, a lot of focus has to go to getting to know them. To learn how to interact with them, what their communication style, is, what their body language means. You need to learn how to get along with them on some level. You have to figure out what does your kid like what doesn’t he like. So being alone is actually one of the great powers of the path because you have no one else you need to get to know except yourself. Now of course many people just use their alone time to get depressed or turn to addictions or what not. But if you really use it well, alone for a period of time is powerful. Rose used to suggest for all of his students that they spend at least one 40 day period once per year totally alone in retreat. For someone who already lives alone, well they have that at their potential daily reality. For everyone else, then they have to create alone space. Even if it is just a week once or twice per year, that period where the focus becomes totally the thing here and not anything out there, is a powerful part of the path.

Q: How about making decisions?

A: The decision process is always a over b. And that is where something like the Faith Mind Sutra can be useful. Is like four pages of hammering you to let go of opposites, dualities, choices, right and wrong. It’s a long process because the entire material world is built on duality. There’s no left without right, down only exists because there is an up. So between-ness is also a very freeing because the foundation elements aren’t there. How can I describe it? It’s like when I was with Medicine Men having prayer in the sweat lodge. If you if you were doing it properly, you weren’t thinking about the prayer. You were just in a state just of thankfulness or in a state of gratitude or in a state of stillness for whatever let’s call it useful and positive that can actually hear whatever it is you’re doing I’ve talked about praying praying turns you into into prey for the archons, which happens as soon as you put an object to what you are praying to. If you send your prayers to something over there, with that hope that the something has more power than you, and will like you somehow, then send the wish to you is in a sense putting your power to something else. And that is what archons really like. I’m not talking about that, thinking you have to have some being who is greater than you like you, or that you have to become worthy enough or perfect enough so they will give you what you want. That is a very strange relationship being created, and that is how most prayer is taught all over the world.

But real prayer is stepping out of yourself for a short period of time that’s literally a state of between-ness. Things would just manifest. I never thought about it consciously, I never prayed for it, I never asked for it, I never did any kind of ceremony for it, but if I had enough times in this state of just let’s call it like a deeper energy than me and being thankful then some of these things that I want to manifest, do manifest. it is very hard to to describe. You don’t really catch what is happening until you’ve done it.

Q: Could you explain the New Testament quote “If any man come to me and hate not his father and mother and wife and children and brother and sisters yay in his own life also he cannot be my disciple”? A: So the hatred being discussed here saying one can’t be my disciple, one of the inner circle who are going to receive deepest messages and private instruction as long as they are putting the material world ahead of their spiritual practice. Until coming to the realization that Truth can not be found in the material world. Like yesterday there was some crazy news going on in this world, and you have to notice it and see if it is going to impact you directly soon, but we touch the world lightly and then let go of it. I think that is what these New Testament quotes are referring to. If you’re holding on to any of these material things, like if mom and dad have more importance than your path, then you are not putting the majority of your energy into the search for Ultimate Truth. It does not mean you have to get rid of them, no longer talk to them, or even hate them. That is a mistaken idea. But you have to remove, over time through inner work and transformation (not just from some sort of intellectual idea) but from a direct realization of the nature of reality) you drop the idea that anything in the material physical world is more important than your inner direction to the spiritual. You maybe realign yourself to having 85 % of your importance is placed on your inner work, while the material has 15% importance.

It’s not about attachment to physical objects or experiences either. That is another New Age misperception. There is only one attachment, and that’s to yourself And the self is not something that let’s go of, it’s seen through. It is what the Celestial Fire will burn through in the fire baptism. The final idea being, if there is no attachment here, there can be no attachments out there.

One level of between ness is dealing with reality. You act from one pole as if everything going on is very real, extremely real and important, and at the same time you are acting from the other pole where things are seen as illusionary and not important. One side is using the heart and emotion, the other deeper mind and pure logic…and then Awareness operates between the two, accepting both sides and rejecting both sides at the same time, interacting with and not interacting at the same time. I know how it likely sounds, it makes no sense, yet at some point when this is realized and controlled folly can be really put into practice, what I just said here will make perfect sense.

Q: Do you think this simulation will end catastrophe or apocalypse?

A: I know that’s how it gets presented, and it could be like that, but at the core it likely will just seem like a shift. It might be very noticeable at that time or not. It depends how different the new simulation appears compared to this one. The more different it is, the more noticeable the shift will be. I don’t think it i don’t think it necessarily has to be apocalyptical. But this one likely will become chaotic on some great level for the majority to make the conscious decision, one way or another, to want to shift to the new one. But how much chaos is needed? We will have to wait and see on that one.

Q: Do you feel that oh we decided to be here to shut this simulation down now?

A: No. Why the need to shut it down as you say. That means there is still the belief that it is real. It’s still there’s a belief that it’s that it’s real and important. That is the whole comment from the John Gospel earlier, to hate your father your mother. The Cathars weren’t sitting around figuring out how they can fix the world or how they can shut it down, they were sitting in let’s call it the depth of the Christ, ready to return. To do what is required personally to create that transformative process of fire to create the pathway Home. They knew that this false reality is not home, so it took only the amount of attention required for day to day experience. It exists because we’re all still here. Eventually we all won’t be and then it’ll just stop. But keep in mind that just because this reality is sick and insane doesn’t necessarily mean it’s wrong either. It is doing exactly what it was built to do. Don’t try to fix the insane program code, just exit the computer entirely

I will leave it with one last comment then and um and that is, as you still think you have to have a purpose, just find a way to be helpful to someone or something. Find a way to be kind to another creature on the planet you know that’s and don’t tell any and don’t go around telling people about it. the only one who ever has to know you’ve been kind to another person or another creature is yourself you know there’s a lot of people that that they offer kindness so that they have a story to tell how wonderful and kind they are at parties for the next three months the ones who give out the most kindness you would never know it’ you would never know it because they never talked about.

Anyway, I think should end our discussion there. Keep up with your work on your personal integrity, wishing you well.